Floe (excerpt)

[Floe, a cool sixteenish, beats hip-hop into the wooden box to supply the music for his rhyme.]

It’s the mack motherfuckin, Daddy Never catch me drivin a caddy I prefer like a 190E Imported all the way from Germany It’s the F to the L to the O to the E I tantalize to tickle your throat like Tetley Tea I terrorize, stuff tough trash talkers and bluff tykes Twist the wrist to grab the microphone and I wear Nikes Color green, style hi-top, to flex the hip-hop Born to rip the shop and rock the spot like nonstop, yo.. My rhymes are fat, fresh, dumb, dope, down and groovy I’m terminatin suckas like Schwarzenegger in that movie Sucker Emcees I consume, my rhymes boom

I knew I was dope walkin out my mother’s womb I’ll kick you in the head with my Tims, so I could squoosh ya See ya on the street punk, word up I’ll mush ya I’m not a pusher, flowin like a gusher A fucked up motherfucker and I live inside Flatbush -uh I’m makin dynamite explode, I’m launchin rockets I robbed George Jetson, stuck up Spaceley Sprockets My pockets stay fat, with pictures of the presidents I’m ricochet-bing-bing rockin rhymes for all ya residents Of Brooklyn, Queens, Manhattan and the Bronx You paid your fifteen dollars, yo I coulda got yaw’ll comps Everytime I rhyme I leave mikes twisted and bent Never been to Riker’s Island but I almost went I’m out there murfin, not Papa Smurf and Foamin like a Nerf and yeah, I fucked your girlfriend I smoke suckas mad fast just like the crack I drop more fuckin bombs than Bush did on Iraq I’m stacked and stacked, drink a forty of Similac Never call me wack because yo, kid I pack A pistol, so it’s no use holdin your crystal I’ll shoot ya point blank in the head, then fuck your sister I’ll throw ya down and step on your head just like a RingDing Beat ya ass worse than they did in the Rodney King thing The rhymes I hit ya with boy, they aint no duds The microphone’s the trigger and boom, I’m droppin Scuds Yeah, and ya don’t stop, keep on till the break of dawn and… [Freestyle]

[To his boys] Ah yeah you like that, you like that. I fucked it up though. I made up the part about the Scuds yesterday. I was like tryin to you know, end on some boom shit but at the same time relate it to like current events. …What? You can’t have the sample after my verse man. You already got it after his verse. Cause, that shit is mad redundant. You don’t know what the fuck you talkin about …Aight fine, then have the sample after my verse but then you can’t have it after his. …Oh my god, shut the fuck up. We aint even make the demo yet. Wait till we drop the demo, get a record deal, then when you got cash in your pocket you’ll shut the fuck up then. Cause people are gonna listen to it and be like, that shit is mad redundant. You do get money, cause you know you get a advance right? Like I heard Wu-Tang Clan got like two hundred-fifty thousand dollars each before the record even came out! Each yo, each, each! But watch, this be just the motherfucker to like, take that money, and go buy like a five hundred bag of Buddha and ten hookers and shit. …Cause you’re stupid. Hey yo, I get that money, I’m goin to college in two seconds, yup. Cause otherwise they just look at you like another dumb rapper and shit. You got a degree in your pocket, niggas give you respect. For real, I’m gonna roll up like Harvard or Yale or some shit. Yo there’s mad honeys at them schools too yo. …Nah bee, you don’t need SAT’s to get into that shit. Nah yo. I roll up in Harvard, a hundred thousand dollars in my pocket, they be like, aight you in, you in. Trust me. They be like, Oh Hello, Welcome and shit.

What? You don’t know what the fuck you’re talkin about. You can’t even rhyme for shit anyway. Aha! ..My mother can’t rhyme? Yo, your mother’s so stupid, she climbed up a tree cause she tryin to be branch manager. Yo, your mother’s so dumb, she got stabbed in a shoot-out. …Hah? …Oh, why you wanna go there man? …I’m sayin, you dis my moms all you want, but you don’t talk about my girl, that’s different. …I know she aint my girl no more, that’s not the point though. Yo we broke up, you don’t even know the whole story. Nah I’m sayin, she wanna go roll with some other kid cause he got money in his pocket. That’s aight though. Cause wait till we get this record deal and I got money in my pocket, you know she gonna be callin me up like, ring ring, hi, I’m sorry. I’ll be like, word? Click. …Nah, actually I can’t say that. Cause she aint really the type to do that shit. See, that’s why I can’t dis her even though we broke up. I mean out of all the girls I been with, I be like, seeya! But it’s like that’s the first girl that like, I don’t know. I think honestly I could say like.. I don’t know, some shit.

Nah! I’m serious! It’s like, even just being with her, we don’t even have to be doing nothing, we just be sitting there. Plus she be schooling me, cause you know she’s in college right? She’s gonna be a sophomore at Hunter next semester. …Black and Puertorican studies. So I’m sayin, It’s like we just be chilling or whatever. And all of the sudden she’ll drop the bomb of knowledge on me. Like check this out, there was this whole civilization, livin on the islands in the Caribbean, mad hundred thousand years before the Europeans came over and fucked that whole shit up. They was called Tainos. They had a whole civilization, architecture, medicine, culture… Tainos. …You aint never heard of no fuckin Tainos. This nigga aint never heard of Fritos talkin bout you heard of that shit. I’m sayin though. …Right? Shit was just different with her. That too though. It’s like, even when I was fuckin her. Ah, see I can’t even say that cause it wasn’t like fuckin. It was like, we was making love or some shit. …Shut up. Stop laughing. Your mother’s so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck, shut the fuck up. Nah, shut the fuck up stop laughing though. I’m saying, I’m gonna tell you this cause it still be buggin me out to this day. This happened like once right? …I’m not saying I fucked her once, but listen. You know when you be gettin busy and like you get all into the moment and shit? Like you get all hot and sweaty and you get into the smells, like you be smelling her neck and shit. You know, you be like, ah lemme smell your neck? So, I’m saying like one time, we was all in it. And I had closed my eyes and this shit had come over me like I can’t even explain it. Like in here, and I had like almost started like, cryin and shit. I mean I’m not saying I was crying. I’m saying like, aight. The only thing I could compare it to, is remember last summer we went to Action Park? …Nah, aight bad example, bad example.

I’m sayin, you ever been on a airplane? …So you know you be on a airplane and you hit turbulence and the plane drops. And your stomach goes like this, but the rest of your body goes like this. It’s like you’re separating and you feel like… I’m saying, so they got that water slide at Action Park, and when you go down the slide you be like, wahh. I’m not sayin down there, I’m saying like in here. Never mind man. Nah, forget it, shut up, you’re stupid. Watch in like five years, she’ll be some college professor, and we’ll be on tour at her school. And we’ll run into eachother and be like, ching! Nah yo, let me shut up man. I be sounding all sentimental like Sally Jeffrey Rafael and shit. Yo, kick your verse man, kick your verse! Ya big, can’t rhyme for your life. …What? Yo, your mother got no arms on Wheel Of Fortune talkin bout, Big Money, Big Money! Go ahead kick your verse… [Floe pounds the box to his homeboy’s imaginary verse.]